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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26868625">I Walk This Empty Street</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canadian_girl2000/pseuds/Canadian_girl2000'>Canadian_girl2000</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Forever Evil (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dick Grayson Gets a Hug, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Dick Grayson, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Spyral (DCU), The batboys find out about Bruce persuading Dick, Touch-Starved, WTF DC, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020, goddammit bruce, like really needs a hug, with his fist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:00:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26868625</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canadian_girl2000/pseuds/Canadian_girl2000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick's brothers find out how Dick was 'convinced' to go to Spyral. Needless to say, they are not happy. But can they fix the damage before it's too late?</p><p>Whumptober day 6: Betrayed</p><p>Title and chapter names from the song Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tim Drake &amp; Dick Grayson &amp; Jason Todd &amp; Damian Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Dick Grayson and Forever Evil</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. But it's Home to me and I Walk Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The first chapter is just a transcript of the Nightwing #30 comic, where Bruce 'convinces' Dick to do the Spyral mission.</p><p>My proper fic will start in chapter 2.</p><p>Hope you guys enjoy this fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Richard John Grayson could not believe what he was hearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How many times have we done this? How many rules have I given you? Where you fight. How you fight. We’ve done this so many times. We’ve had so many rules. We need to do it again. You and me. I need to see if they broke you. I need to see if you still have the heart you once had. So, one more time, Dick. But now there’s only </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>one </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>rule … you have to win.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure. He and Bruce had fought before, even gone as far as physical fights. But this. This was on a whole different level. He’d just died. Lex Luthor had stopped his heart to save the world, and himself. He had died. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed with his family and watch a movie or something. Anything really, as long as his family was involved. As long as his family knew he was safe. Alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, Bruce had taken him to the Batcave, turned off the security feed and disabled the elevator. He wanted to take advantage of Dick’s death. He wanted to send him undercover to the Crime Syndicate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He handed Dick a domino mask and told him to wrap his hands. Bruce was still wearing the cowl. He told him that the fight only had one rule. Dick had to win.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Usually, during a spar, there would be friendly banter. This was no spar. There was no banter. Instead, Bruce accused him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce kicked at him. “You let the crime syndicate capture you. You let them torture you. You let them give your secrets to the world.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick easily dodged, “You weren’t there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another kick. “You let them turn you into a bomb. You let them kill you. Before Luthor rescued you, you let everyone watch you die.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick flipped over Bruce, using the man’s head to propel him. “I was trying to save people!” he gritted out. He wasn’t fast enough to dodge the elbow and it hit him in the jaw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I trained you to live. And I watched you die!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick whipped the blood from his nose. “Bruce… What is this?” he asked. He never saw the foot coming. He went flying backwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to know if you’re strong enough to make the sacrifices we will always have to make.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slammed into one of the Robin costume displays, shattering the glass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce stalked over to him. “I have a mission for you, Dick,” he said, looming over the fallen man. “I need you to do something that will hurt your friends. Your Family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick’s heart stopped for the second time in two days. He slowly picked himself up. “Bruce, what the hell is going on?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everyone thinks you’re dead. I need you to stay dead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick couldn’t believe it. How could Bruce even consider asking him to do such a thing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“NO!” he screamed, slamming his foot into Bruce’s chest. He grabbed the Robin cape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good. Fight.” Bruce said. “Fight like a man who can’t be captured. Who won’t be killed. Fight like you’re alive!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick wrapped the cape around Bruce’s neck and pulled. He slammed the other man down and Bruce let out a grunt. Bruce grabbed a giant dice and threw it at him. It collided with the back of his head, splitting in half with a sickening crack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spyral. The espionage group.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. I won’t do it. I can’t stay dead. I can’t do it to them!” He grabbed Bruce and threw him into one of the Riddler’s giant question marks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They fight the usual evil around the world.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But...Tim?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Somehow they had gotten on top of the T-Rex. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Terrorists. Murderers. The cowardly and the superstitious.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick swiped at him with a tooth he’d grabbed from the dinosaur. “Jason?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A lot of people fight these days.” Bruce’s next punch sent him flying once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alfred? Barbara?” Dick slammed into the computer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spyral is the best.” Dick kicked him, sending Bruce into the other computer. “I know because they're the best, because it took me this long to find out what they're doing underneath all that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t!” Dick was begging at this point. He couldn’t do this to his brothers. To Alfred. To Babs. They’d just lost Damian. They wouldn’t survive another loss. He jumped onto the batsub.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce followed. “They’re hunting masked heroes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re my family, Bruce” he pleaded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another kick. “They want our identities.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick jumped over to the bike. “If I’m dead, if they think I’m dead…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another punch. “Our secrets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dodged. “After Damian?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce’s next kick broke the bike in two. “Who we hate. Who we love…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re my family! My family!” he yelled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re looking for who we really are, Dick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do it to them… I just can’t”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We won’t let them do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m alive, Bruce.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can’t let them do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m ALIVE!” He roared, barreling into Bruce, sending them both crashing into the batmobile. The windshield shattered beneath them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If they know our secrets, we won’t be able to fight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How can you ask me to do this, Bruce?” he said, raising a shaky fist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know how many people will die if we can’t fight?” Bruce said, swinging his foot out and sending Dick flying once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you do this to ME!” Dick demanded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need a man inside. Finding out what Spyral knows. What they want to know. We need you.” Bruce said, “They’ll come for you now. They’ll want someone like you. Someone off the grid who knows our secrets. If you’re not dead, they’ll come for you. A masked man without a mask.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dick slowly pulled himself up again, spitting out blood. “After everything, how can you put this on me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do we fall, Dick?” Bruce asked, “We fall so we can learn to get back up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.” Dick said, raising a hand to his face. “No, that’s not true.” He shakily peeled off the domino mask, “We fall because someone pushes us.” He gets to his feet. “We get up to push back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blocked Bruce’s next punch. “Things can’t be the same.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know the other heroes. I know them all.” Bruce growled out, “I’d have them do it, but they can’t. They’d fight, but eventually, they’d give up, they’d give in. And Spyral would use them to get the rest of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“After this, Bruce, after asking this, between us -- it can’t be the same again,” Dick said, blocking another punch. He couldn’t win. He saw that now. Bruce was stubborn and would not stop. No matter what he did, how much he begged, he was going to get sent off either way</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I’m hurting you. My family. I’m making this sacrifice because I don’t give up. I don’t give in.” Bruce said, “But what about you? Are you them? Or are you me? After the crime syndicate captured you, tortured you, </span>
  <b>killed </b>
  <span>you -- tell me Dick, my boy, after all this-” Another punch. “-will you give up? Will you give in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’M NOT YOUR BOY!” Dick screamed, slamming his fist into Bruce’s face. The man flew backwards. Dick was seething. How dare he. HOW dare he.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...That’s enough,” Bruce said, taking off the cowl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Dick said, “It’s never enough.” He sat down next to Bruce, “One rule.” he stated, “I win.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruce put his arm around Dick’s shoulders. “Good” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Along the Boulevard of Broken Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dick couldn’t believe it. He was finally free. He was back in his crappy Blüdhaven apartment. He was free to talk to people again. His family knew he was alive. Damian was alive. </p><p>His entire family was mad at him, but at least they knew the truth. He was fine. He could understand their anger. He had betrayed them. He’d lied to them. He would respect their wishes. His face still stung from Jason’s punch, but he deserved it. Hell, he deserved worse.</p><p>And so, he avoided going to Gotham. He stayed out of the path of all the Bats. He would give them time, after all, what was a bit more time away from his family.</p><p>The next time he ran into Jason, weeks later, his brother didn’t even look at him. He just stalked off, ignoring Dick completely. Tim, at least, was willing to talk to him. But only if it was of major importance; a case, or something along those lines. Damian was a lot easier to interact with. His youngest brother was mad, understandably so, but he was also relieved Dick was alive. But since Dick’s plan was to avoid Gotham all together, he only rarely saw Damian. </p><p>Blüdhaven was still the same crime-ridden city. He’d betrayed the city he loved, abandoning it in its time of need. He threw himself into his vigilante work, barely eating or sleeping. It didn’t matter, he wasn’t hungry and he knew that sleep would only bring nightmares.</p><p>With each case, his world grew colder and colder. He smiled less, he laughed less. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. What was the point of doing this? His family hated him. </p><p>He couldn’t go out anymore. His head throbbed at any movement. His limbs felt heavy. He couldn’t get warm. He couldn’t get warm.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I'm gonna post the next chapter tomorrow!" *proceeds to not start writing chapter until 11 pm*</p><p>Sorry for the delay guys, I just couldn't figure out how to write this damn chapter. I'm not a hundred percent happy with it.</p><p>Also, I lied. This fic will now be 4 chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Have any of you idiots heard from Grayson?”</p><p> </p><p>Jason’s head shot up as Damian stormed into the Batcave. He frowned at the younger boy.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he said dryly. He turned back to the case he and Tim were working on.</p><p> </p><p>“He was supposed to call me,” Damian said, ignoring Jason. “When he did not, I attempted to call him three times. I have not received an answer.”</p><p> </p><p>Jason shot Tim an annoyed look before turning to Damian. “Goldie’s probably off pretending to be dead again,” he said. When was the Demon Brat gonna get over Grayson and his bullshit? The man had betrayed the Robins.</p><p> </p><p>He could feel Damian’s glare. “I am telling you something is wrong. Do you know where he is?” </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t know. Don’t care.”</p><p> </p><p>“This is Grayson we are talking about. He would not have done this without proper reason, Todd. Stop being an imbecile.” Damian growled. “Now. Help. Me. Find. Him.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh, the brat was gonna get it now. Jason stood up, fully intending on giving Damian a piece of his mind. Tim grabbed his sleeve before he could even take a step.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll check his tracker, okay Damian?” Tim said, releasing Jason's sleeve when the older boy pulled away. He turned back to the computer and pulled up Dick’s tracker. “Says here that he’s in his Blüd apartment.” Tim frowned, before clicking a few times. “That can’t be right. It says he hasn’t moved in two days.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Damian demanded, storming past Jason to see the screen. Jason followed him, definitely not because he was worried. Cause he wasn’t. But when he saw the screen, a feeling of dread settled in his stomach. Dick was never idle for long, let alone two whole days. Something was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“I am going to Blüdhaven.” Damian declared, “Todd, you are driving.” With that he left the cave, leaving behind the two older boys.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re sure that thing is right, Replacement?” Jason said, glancing at Tim who was furiously typing.</p><p> </p><p>“I just checked with Babs. She says she’s reading the same thing.” he looked at Jason, worry evident in his eyes, “You don’t think..?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just, I dunno, took the tracker out or something.” Jason said with a shrug. He didn’t know who he was trying to convince more. They were probably all overreacting. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The drive to Blüdhaven was quiet. Jason could practically feel the worry radiating off his younger brothers. He suddenly felt really stupid. His brother had come back from the dead (Well, fake dead. But still) and here he was ignoring him. Hating him. Sure, Dick had lied to them but he’d apologized. To be honest, he wasn’t even that mad. He’d been relieved to see Dick again. Just really pissed cause he’d thought Dick would be the last to pull that shit on them. God, he was such an asshole.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled the car into the parking near Dick’s apartment and Damian all but ran to the building. Jason and Tim shared a worried look before following him.</p><p> </p><p>When their knocking received no answer Jason began to really worry. Damian pulled out the key Dick had given him and they let themselves in.</p><p> </p><p>The apartment was dark. The blinds were pulled closed and no lights were on. There was a foul smell coming from somewhere but Jason couldn’t tell what it was.</p><p> </p><p>“Grayson?” Damian called out, venturing farther into the apartment. Tim poked his head into the small bathroom, before shaking his head. Jason opened the door to the bedroom and his heart stopped.</p><p> </p><p>Curled up on the bed was a shivering Dick Grayson. Jason stood frozen as his brothers rushed forwards. His brain couldn’t process what he was seeing. He’d just seen Dick… he couldn’t remember when. How could it have gotten this bad? Why didn’t he call for help? ‘He didn’t because you were mad at him’ his brain supplied.</p><p> </p><p>Tim’s yell pulled him from his thoughts. “Jason! Go get a glass of water!”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong with him?” Jason asked in a shaky voice, heading towards the kitchen. Thankfully the apartment was small, so Jason heard Tim’s answer.</p><p> </p><p>“I don't know!” Tim exclaimed. There was an edge of panic to his voice. “His skin is boiling and his pulse is racing. I think he’s dehydrated too.” </p><p> </p><p>He grabbed the glass from Jason’s hand and lifted Dick’s head up before pressing the glass to his lips. He managed to get Dick to swallow some but stopped when Dick’s shivering doubled.</p><p> </p><p>“Shit! We need to get his temperature down. Damian, go start a cold bath. Jay, help me lift him.” Thank god Tim was here. Damian looked about to protest but a look from Tim and he ran out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>Jason and Tim managed to strip their shivering older brother down to his undershirt and boxers. Together they carried him to the bathroom. They slowly lowered him into the cold water.</p><p> </p><p>The reaction was immediate. Dick’s eyes flew open and he tried to scramble out of the bath. Jason rushed forwards to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, Dick! It’s okay. You’re in your apartment!” he said, reaching forward to stop Dick from struggling. Dick flinched away from the contact. He was blinking owlishly at them as if he couldn’t understand what he was seeing.</p><p> </p><p>“Wha?” he slurred.</p><p> </p><p>“You are sick Grayson. We are trying to help you.” Damian said. Dick’s bathroom was small, but the younger managed to squeeze next to Jason. Dick frowned at them.</p><p>“Dosen’ make sens' ” he said shaking his head. “Not real”</p><p> </p><p>All three boys froze. Shit. Dick thought he was hallucinating. How could they have let it get this bad?</p><p> </p><p>“I assure you that we are real, Richard,” Damian said, reaching forward to try and take Dick’s hand. The acrobat flinched so violently he hit his head on the wall. He let out a whimper. Damian’s hand froze in it’s extended position. </p><p> </p><p>“Dick, we need to get you out of the bath, okay?” Tim said softly. Dick gave no response. He was staring blankly at the wall. “Jason, can you lift him?” </p><p> </p><p>Jason nodded and lifted Dick up. For a second he was calm. The next he was screaming and flailing.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’ wanna go! I don’t want to go!” he kept screaming and begging and Jason held on tighter, desperately trying to make sure he wouldn’t drop his brother. As quickly as the screaming had started, it stopped. Instead, Dick started whimpering out apologies.</p><p> </p><p>Jason shook himself out of his daze and carried Dick back to his room, Tim and Damian trailing behind. He sat his brother on the bed, keeping a hand on his shoulder to make sure he wouldn’t fall over. Dick kept apologizing as Tim wiped him down with a towel. They changed Dick out of his undershirt, and he flinched at every movement, no matter how little or kind.</p><p> </p><p>What the hell had happened? Dick was the most tactile person Jason knew. If he wasn’t giving hugs, he was giving high fives, or hair ruffles, or anything really as long as there was contact. And yet, here sat Dick, flinching away from them, mumbling apologies in a daze. </p><p> </p><p>Tim gently lay his oldest brother back down. “Damian, stay with him.” he said, rising to his feet, “Jason,” he said and gestured to the other room with his head. He looked unwilling to leave, but he left either way. Jason looked at Dick one last time before following Tim.</p><p> </p><p>Tim was pacing in the living room, running a hand through his hair. “How did it get so bad Jay? What the hell happened?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Something with his mission? I have no idea.” Jason said, “But what could have led to this?” he gestured towards the bedroom.</p><p> </p><p>“We definitely didn’t help that's for sure. God, I can’t believe we pushed him away!” Tim let out a frustrated sigh, “How do we help him?”</p><p> </p><p>That was the million dollars question. What the hell did they do?</p><p> </p><p>“We stay with him. Keep his fever down,” Jason said, “and when he wakes up, we let him know we’re here for him. We let him explain and this time, we listen.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I don't walk alone anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's the final chapter for this story. </p><p>Hope you guys enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>When Dick woke up, he was warm. That couldn’t be right. The last thing he remembered was the inability to get warm. Something wasn’t right.</p><p> </p><p>He opened his eyes and immediately closed them again. It was too bright. Why was it bright? He had closed all the curtains, or at least he thought he had. </p><p> </p><p>He opened his eyes slowly this time, squinting at the light. Someone had opened his blinds. He looked around his room. It was clean. Someone had cleaned his room. His brain took a moment to process before two thoughts popped up. Firstly, he wasn’t on speaking terms with anyone that could get into his apartment and secondly, he could hear noise coming from his kitchen. There was someone in his apartment.</p><p> </p><p>Dick panicked. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and promptly face-planted when they couldn’t hold his weight. He held his breath. Maybe whoever was here hadn’t heard him. There was silence for a moment before a muffled “Dick?” was heard.</p><p> </p><p>Shit shit shit shit. He crawled towards the window. He had to get out.</p><p> </p><p>“Dick? You awake?” The door opened and Dick froze like a deer in headlights. Jason Todd was standing in his doorway. Why was Jason here? The man wanted nothing to do with him. He resumed his mad scramble for the window. He was so close.</p><p> </p><p>“Wha-? Dick! Stop! You’ll hurt yourself!” Jason rushed forwards. The sudden movement made him flinch and he hated himself for the whimper that escaped him. His back hit the wall. He was trapped. He was trapped and Jason was coming towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“Jason, is he awake?” Two more figures appeared in the doorway. Tim was here too? Why was Tim here? </p><p> </p><p>They were closing in on him. He couldn’t escape. He was trapped. </p><p> </p><p>“Dick, you gotta breathe man. Breathe with me” Jason reached towards him and Dick screamed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He wasn’t in his apartment anymore. He was in the Batcave. Batman was looming over him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You let the crime syndicate capture you. You let them torture you. You let them give your secrets to the world.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I didn’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Everyone thinks you’re dead. I need you to stay dead.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No! I won’t do it. I’m sorry. Don’t make me go. Don’t make me hurt my family. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Dick? Dick, it’s okay. You’re in your apartment, whatever you’re seeing isn’t real”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why was Jason here? Jason couldn’t be here. He couldn’t let Bruce get to Jason.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Jason is safe, Dick. We’re all safe. We aren’t in the Batcave. Bruce isn’t here”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tim? Nonononono. He had to get them away. He had to. He needed to protect his little brothers. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Grayson! Calm yourself!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Damian? Damian was dead. Another brother he had let down. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I am alive Grayson. We are all alive and safe. We are in your apartment and  you are no longer with Spyral.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No longer with Spyral? How was that possible? He was still in the Batca- </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“We aren’t in the Batcave. We’re in your apartment in Blüdhaven. Bruce isn’t here. We’re all safe...” A voice was repeating, over and over. Dick latched onto it.</p><p> </p><p>He blinked. Three sets of eyes were staring at him. He flinched back from their gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Dick? You with us?” Jason asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>He closed his eyes and nodded slowly. He was tired. He was so tired.</p><p> </p><p>“C’mon Dickie, let’s get you back to bed, yeah?” He nodded again.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to touch you, okay? I’m just going to help you get to the bed” There was a pause before a hand snaked around him. He flinched. The movement stopped. “It’s okay Dick, we’re just getting you back to bed.”</p><p> </p><p>The hands pulled him to his feet. It’s okay. It was just Jason. Jason wouldn’t hurt him. ‘Except for when he punched you’ his brain supplied. He had deserved that. He deserved even worse.</p><p> </p><p>Jason placed him on the bed. “Get some sleep, Dick. We’ll be here when you wake up.”</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><hr/><p> </p><p>They watched Dick fall asleep before Jason ushered his younger brothers out of the room. They stood frozen in the middle of the living room for a moment before Jason whisper yelled “What the fuck was that?!”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, but I don’t like what he was hinting at. He was terrified!” Tim said, running a hand through his hair. “I think we really screwed up, Jay.”</p><p> </p><p>They had. Holy shit had they fucked this up. Dick was flinching from touch. Dick Grayson, cuddler and hugger extraordinaire, was flinching from touch. It had sent him into a panic attack! They had missed something, something big.</p><p> </p><p>“He seemed worried that Father was here,” Damian said, frowning, “that Father would hurt us.” </p><p> </p><p>“Tim, can you pull up the Cave’s security feed for the day after Dick died?” Jason asked. He prayed he was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, just give me a sec,” Tim walked over to the couch where his laptop was left earlier. He tapped away at the keyboard for a few moments before he said “That’s odd”.</p><p> </p><p>“What is?” Jason walked behind the couch and looked at the screen over Tim’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>Tim pointed at the screen. “There’s two hours of footage that's missing. I think Bruce turned off the cameras.”</p><p> </p><p>Shit. That didn’t bode well for his prayer.</p><p> </p><p>“Father never turns off the cameras, Drake. Surely you are mistaken.” Damian said, coming to stand next to Jason.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not mistaken-” a pause “-and don’t call me Shirley” Tim replied, deadpan, a smile on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“I did not call you Shirley, you imbecile!” Damian huffed.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just a joke baby bird, no need to get mad,” Jason said, not surprised that Damian didn’t get the reference. He turned to Tim. “No cave video, nothing for a whole two hours?” </p><p> </p><p>Tim shook his head. “Nothing. It wasn’t deleted or encrypted. It doesn’t exist.”</p><p> </p><p>What the hell was Bruce hiding?</p><p> </p><hr/><p>‘Someone is in my room’ was the first thing Dick realized when he woke up. He slowly opened his eyes. It was dark, and there was a figure laying on the bed next to him, just out of reach.</p><p> </p><p>“Damian?” he whispered. He wanted to reach out to ruffle his hair, but he resisted.</p><p> </p><p>Damian rolled over, looked him up and down before asking “How are you feeling, Richard?”</p><p> </p><p>How did he feel? That was a loaded question. Bad, because he’d freaked out in front of his younger brothers. Bad, because he had caused them to worry. Bad, because his head was pounding and his chest was hurting. Bad, because everyone hated him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine” he lied. He avoided Damian’s scrutinizing glare and looked anywhere but at his brother. </p><p> </p><p>Damian sighed. “Are you hungry?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Dick replied. His stomach growled, betraying him. Damian gave him a pointed look. “Maybe a little” he relented.</p><p> </p><p>“I will tell Todd you are awake and to make food,” Damian said, getting to his feet, “You are welcome to join us in the kitchen.”</p><p> </p><p>He watched his brother leave. He had no intention of leaving the comfort of his room. He wasn’t ready to face his brothers yet. He looked at the window. He could probably make it this time.</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head. As much as he wanted to run away, he would need to face his brothers eventually. Might as well get it over it. Then they could all go back to ignoring each other.</p><p> </p><p>He slowly made his way to the small kitchen in his apartment. Tim and Damian were sitting at the island, watching Jason cook what seemed to be pancakes. Dick held his tongue from making a comment about having pancakes for dinner. He slumped into the chair next to Damian’s, making sure it was far enough away so that he wouldn’t touch his brother. An awkward silence settled over the kitchen. Dick hated it. This was all his fault. If he hadn’t faked his death and gone to Spryal this might have been fun. He sank deeper into his pit of self-hatred. He was an awful brother.</p><p> </p><p>A plate was set down in front of him, jolting him from his thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>“Eat up, Dickie,” Jason said, taking a seat on the opposite side of the island. The awkward silence stretched out, only disrupted by the clanking of forks on plates and the sound of chewing.</p><p> </p><p>The silence was broken when Jason cleared his throat. “We have some,” he hesitated, “we have some questions for you.” All three boys were looking at Dick. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” he replied in a small voice. This wasn’t going to end well. He pushed the food around on his plate, refusing to look up.</p><p> </p><p>“We looked at the Cave’s security feed for the day after we were told you died. There’s a two-hour gap that’s missing. We were wondering if you knew why.” Tim said.</p><p> </p><p>Did he know why? Yeah, he did. That’s when Bruce ‘convinced’ him to go to Spyral. To betray his family.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he lied, still looking down. </p><p> </p><p>“Dick, we know something happened between you and Bruce. We want to understand what happened.” Jason said and Dick scoffed in reply. That was rich.</p><p> </p><p>“You want to understand what happened? You couldn't be bothered to listen to my explanation when I tried to tell you on that rooftop and now, months later, you want to understand?!” He exclaimed, standing up. “This was fun. I look forward to you all ignoring me again tomorrow.” He turned to walk away but Jason caught his arm before he could. He flinched and Jason released him, raising his arms in surrender.</p><p> </p><p>“We were wrong, Dick. I was an asshole and I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain yourself. But-” Jason paused, “Jesus Dick when we found you curled up and shivering in your bed all those nights ago, you damn near gave me a heart attack. You thought you were hallucinating and you wouldn’t stop apologizing and begging not to go. It was the scariest thing I’ve seen in a long time.” He stood and looked Dick straight in the eye. “I’m sorry I was such a fucking asshole and I’m sorry I was such a horrible brother.”</p><p> </p><p>Dick could see the sincerity in Jason’s eyes. “It’s okay. I deserved it for faking my death and lying to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“But that’s not true, is it? There’s more to the story than that. We don’t want to hear what Bruce said, Dick, we want to know what really happened from you.” Tim said and damn why did his little brother have to be such a detective.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at both of them before settling his eyes on Damian, who hadn’t said anything yet.</p><p> </p><p>“We wish to know what Father did, Richard” Damian said and the sincerity in his voice made him sit back down.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to know,” he asked, knowing he would probably regret this. There was a reason he hadn’t told them. ‘But Bruce isn’t here to tell you what to do’ his mind told him.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s start at the beginning. What really happened when you got captured?” Tim asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t really remember much of that. They strapped me to a bomb that was tied to my heart. Bruce found me and he tried to disable it, but the only way to stop it was for my heart to stop. So Lex Luthor gave me something to stop my heart then he-”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait,” Jason interrupted, “you actually died?”</p><p> </p><p>“Technically, yeah. But only for a few minutes, so it doesn’t count.” </p><p> </p><p>“Bullshit.” Jason growled, “bullshit it doesn’t count. Dick, you were actually dead! Jesus, I’m such an asshole”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine. It’s not like I told you.”</p><p> </p><p>“That doesn’t make it better!” Jason exploded, sending the chair he was sat in flying backwards. Dick flinched, and Jason took a few breaths before continuing. “Just because it was a few minutes doesn’t mean it doesn’t count, Dick. That’s not how it works.”</p><p> </p><p>Dick watched Jason pull his chair back up and sit again before continuing to talk. </p><p> </p><p>“Lex gave me an adrenaline shot that restarted my heart once I was out of the trap. Then B-Bruce brought me to the cave.” How the hell was he meant to tell his brothers what happened in those missing two hours?</p><p> </p><p>“Then what happened?” Tim asked encouragingly.</p><p> </p><p>Dick swallowed past the lump forming in his throat. “He, he told me you guys thought I was dead. Really dead. Then he said he had a mission for me that I needed to stay dead for. I refused.” Maybe he could just leave the story there? Those were the most important things.</p><p> </p><p>“B wasn’t happy, was he?” Jason asked rhetorically.</p><p> </p><p>Dick shook his head. He couldn’t tell them. Especially not Damian. Bruce was his father.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that why you keep flinching from us? Because of what B did during those two hours after you refused?” Tim asked softly. He paused before giving a small nod, then shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not that bad. We just… we just sparred.” He said in a small voice. He was fine. He didn’t need their pity.</p><p> </p><p>“You do not need to lie to us, Richard,” Damian said, reaching across the table, palm up. An open invitation. He took it, squeezing his youngest brother's hand. The first positive contact he’d had since before he’d died. God, he had missed it.</p><p> </p><p>“He told me that it was my fault I’d been captured, that it was my fault I’d died. He said he knew he was hurting me, but that I was the only one who could do it. We wrecked the Cave. Then he sent me away. Spyral wasn’t any better. No one could see our faces, no one knew who we were. In the end, everyone was turning on everyone. So many deaths and so many lies. Everyone was betraying everyone and there I was in the middle of it.” he looked up and met Jason’s eyes, “You guys have no idea how much I missed you. How much I wanted to come home. How much I wanted to just sit on the couch and watch a movie with my whole family. I would have killed someone just to be able to hug you guys.” God. When was the last hug he’d received? </p><p> </p><p>Jason stood up, still looking Dick in the eyes and opened his arms. Dick choked on his breath. He got up and collapsed into Jason’s arms. He felt them wrap tightly around him. He heard the scrapes of two more chairs pushing back. </p><p> </p><p>“Can the baby birds join the hug?” Jason asked him. He nodded, and moments later he felt two more bodies joining the hug.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t help it. He started to cry. He’d been wanting this for so long and he’d finally gotten it. A touch that wasn’t hurting him. His shoulders shook with each sob. Jason was whispering nothings into his ear, holding him close. He was safe, his brothers had him. He didn’t have to pretend or lie anymore. </p><p> </p><p>When his sobs subsided, Jason asked “How would you feel about a movie night Dickie?”</p><p> </p><p>The question almost had him crying again. He nodded into Jason’s chest. The arms around him released him but never left him. He felt Damian’s little hand grab his right while Tim took his left. Jason kept a hand on his shoulder and they slowly shambled to Dick’s couch, before sprawling onto it. Dick leaned his head onto Jason’s shoulder and Damian glued himself to his other side. Tim sat on the floor and pressed his back against Dick’s leg.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to watch?” Tim asked, grabbing the remote from the coffee table.</p><p> </p><p>“Dick, did you know that the baby bird over here has never watched Airplane?” Jason said, gesturing towards Damian.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Dick said in mock offence, “That needs to be rectified.” None of his brothers commented on his shaky voice.</p><p> </p><p>“That settles it. Tim, find Airplane. We need to subject Damian to that level of stupid.” Jason ordered. Tim huffed out a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“You got it, boss. One unbelievably stupid movie coming right up!”</p><p> </p><p>Damian let out a disappointed sigh. “If I am to be subjected to a stupid movie, I will need popcorn.” He squeezed Dick’s hand before getting up and heading to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Great idea! I can’t believe we almost had a movie night without popcorn!” Jason said in mock disappointment.</p><p> </p><p>Damian came back with the popcorn and they started the movie. Dick was finally happy. The nightmare was over. He was home and with his family. Everything would be alright.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/canadian-girl2000">My Tumblr</a>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Now that this story is over, I'll start catching back up on Whumptober. Expect loads more angst and hugs shortly!</p><p>Sorry for the Airplane reference. I got forced to watch it and now I can't use the word 'surely' anymore without quoting it.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I finally read Forever Evil and all I can say is Jesus Christ. Poor Dick. Then I read Nightwing #30 and I wanted to cry and give this man a hug. I've recently been watching Batman: The Animated Series, and I love Bruce and Dick's relationship in it. What the fuck happened DC? Why is my Batdad being such a major asshole? Please, please get your shit together.</p><p>Let my boys be happy dammit.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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